I absolutely live by this quote. I have always struggled with my weight. I think the last time I was a size small was when I was 10. I can almost recall that once I entered my high school years the weight gain started increasing. I guess it could have been taking other courses instead of gym that contributed to my weight. As the numbers on the scale starting becoming high digits my parents started harping on me to lose weight. Though they never seemed to help the situation either by always buying "us" snacks that weren't healthy, but I knew me being healthy was a concern. The fact of having diabetes on both sides of my family could have played apart on why my parents harped so much. The odds would definitely be against me: overweight, Hispanic, and genetics, but thoughts of getting that disease honestly never crossed my mind. Seriously, who in high school is thinking about getting an incurable disease? Especially when the pressure of having high grades so you can get into a good college or fitting in with the "cool" crowd thinks about long term health. I can be honest and say now that it never crossed my mind.
Officially I have been dieting ever since I could remember, but never loss much weight. I have never been an athletic person or really cared much about playing sports. Growing up in a family full of boys you would have thought I would have been a (n) sports junkie. Sports just weren’t my thing growing up. The pressure of losing weight became very annoying to me due to not seeing anything wrong with my weight at the time. Plus, I was no where near weighing 200lbs. My highest weight during my teen years was probably 183lbs and again to me that wasn't fat. To weigh that much and still be able to fit into the "in" jeans I considered myself normal.
I have been through many obstacles that probably should have inspired me to make changes in my life. I believe that everyone could want the best for you, but until you want the best it means nothing. As much as everyone wanted me to lose the weight and be healthy I never did it. I felt like I never had the drive or need to lose weight. The quote at the beginning of this blog is basically my story. How could I make a change in myself if I just wasn't ready or want it bad enough. As a parent you want the very best for your child, but in my case just because my parents wanted me to lose the weight I didn't want it. Basically no one can make you do anything you don't want to do. The pressure of being healthy just misdirected me more from becoming healthy.
Until a year ago I felt like I was happy in my oversized body. And never took into consideration death. My dad passed away July 8,2008 of an illness that had nothing to do with obesity. He was a very active man who served our country and moled his children to be the best people they can be. Looking back I never felt that such a death would turn my world upside down for the better. I started realzing that tomorrow isn't promised to us nor the day after. Flashes of life suddenly began entering my eyes of all the things I still hadn't done or the people I dearly loved that I would leave behind. One of those people being my son. Once having a child you want nothing, but the best for them. In my case I didn't want my son growing up without a mother or telling his friends his mom died because she was too selfish to lose weight. The emotions I felt not having my dad around effected me to a point where the light bulb finally turned on. I needed to lose this weight once and for all. I needed to be around to watch my son grow up. I needed to experience all lifes obstacles.
"Because of you dad..I am finally doing something that I never thought possible...Its never too late to be the person you always dreamed yourself being."
Jessica
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