Walking to class today I ran into an old friend. Like everyone who knows each other we stopped and chatted. The first thing she told me was "you look good girl!" As much as I wanted to say "yea I know..Lol!" I looked at her like damn I must have looked really bad back then and you failed not to tell me..Ugh! This very statement got me thinking that people in our lives fail to tell us the truth. Is it because they don't want to hurt our feelings? Afraid of our reaction? Or just accept us for our faults? Though we all have different friends for different aspect of our lives are they really friends. I put myself in the shoes of my friends and I can't say I would know what to tell me. How would you start off an awkward conversation to a friend you care about? Seriously even if my friends would have brought up the health card I probably wouldn't pay much mind to it. For me this whole journey has been something that I needed to be ready for. I believe that I wouldn't be where I am today weight wise if I wasn't ready. Too many times of not wanting to lose the weight those fads died. Now that I want it and can taste a little bit of victory I'm all for it.
Another question that came up in our conversation was "How have you been?" Good question, how have I been? Wow, did she have hours to actually hear how I have been? I replied “I’m doing good...” Really have I been good? Sometimes I find myself replying quickly just to get out of that awkwardness of question asking. Well lately life has been throwing me curves and making life even more complicated than I already think it is.
Complication #1: Boys!!!
Who ever said when you lose weight the boy issues gets easier? They LIED!! It doesn't make it easier just more complicated. I've never been a boy magnet, but have had my fair share. I think I have dated at least one boy from each category: the nice, mean, and the ugly! LOL Okay maybe not necessarily in that order or category, but it sure does feel that way. I just imagined me losing a ton of weight would leave a reaction from boys that I have never felt before. So far that’s so not happening. I've never been one to need someone or want someone to want me. My whole concept was if it happens it happens and if doesn't it doesn't. What girl in there right mind doesn't like attention? I love how I keep using boys and girls like if I am in grade school, haha! I guess its a little part of me trying to hold on to my youth. For me losing weight and boys comes neck in neck of driving me crazy. The jealously is one of the man things for me that makes the whole boys complication complicated. Instead of a guy appreciating you for your accomplishment and wanting to be apart of that accomplishment they make it about "jealously." They automatically think your losing weight for someone other than them. Please guys don't flatter your self!! One pet peeve of mine when it comes to relationship is jealously. I can't stand it and don't accept it. Here goes another reason why guys think your losing weight... Are you trying to look better than me? Make me feel bad? I literally laughed my ass off on this one. First of all I know I already look better than you, no trying there. =) Guys just can't sit back and enjoy the ride or be apart of it. I will never completely wrap my head around why guys think you're losing weight for someone else. At this point I am just done with it. Done with the guy drama and there flatter ness. Well at least until I meet that one that changes my mind. ;)
So life as a college student…. Sounds fun doesn’t it? Nope!! I guess my college days wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t have other responsibilities to come with it. The whole party like a rock star days are done. Which really isn’t a bad thing on my part because I’m not really into the whole college party life, must be a getting older phase. I don’t get the point of waking up early, rushing to class just to have a Professor talk about their weekend fun. Don’t get me wrong I rather listen to blah, blah, blah at home in my P J’s sipping on hot tea. Ok maybe I’m being a little drastic, but I rather be doing something else then listen to why Mr. Ed doesn’t like Sally the dog. I have had some really good professors, but getting to the end of my college path I just want to get straight to the point. Like lectures aren’t boring enough why assign work that doesn’t pertain to the FREAKIN class. Or assigning homework that isn’t going to be graded, ugh!
Complication #3 SOCIAL LIFE/FRIENDS
Who has a social life these days when you’re a full-time mom, college student, and employee? Me, me, me! Well not really a social life I would say. I rarely do anything for fun because my world is centered on my son and school. Yup you’re thinking I’m pretty boring, but you know I rather be boring. I love spending time with my son and watching him grow up each day is so much fulfilling than going out with friends. Plus being in school doesn’t make any matters better. I have had some bumps in the road as far as school goes which lead me proving myself. I am blessed though to have some of the truest, kindest, warmest, caring friends. My friends accept me as I am and are countable. They understand motherhood and school are my focus. I get together with them as much as time permits. We even get together with the kiddos, which is always fun. I am so proud to say that I have some of the best friends anyone could ask for. Since I rarely go out they always make it relaxing and enjoyable when we do hangout. So the complication #3 really doesn't fit this section other than that I hardly have a social life,lol!
And Finally Complication#4 WEIGHT LOSS
Anyone thats on this same journey knows right off the bat that its a tough journey. I mean you changed all old habits, but some find a way to creep up on you. I am all for the healthy now which on my end is exciting. I feel for my family and friends though because thats all I seem to talk about these days. If its not how my workouts are, which new machines I tried, excercise classes, new recipes I've tried its about what my next goal is going to be. Geez, my family and friends must love me since they hardly complain about my blah, blah, blah. I just want to share this whole new me with everyone and hope to touch others in the process. I name weight loss a complication because it is. Its not easy though I always manage to stay on my game. I find myself being mad at my own self for failing on not staying on track with things. Everday is a battle. Losing weight is a battle. You have to conquer temptations when they arise, you have to make sure you get enough workout in to burn calories, and the list goes on.
So when my friend asked me how I was doing these complications is how I am doing. These complications along with motherhood is how I am doing. I know I could be worst off, but who isn't. I now wonder what goes further than a simple responce I get. I mean now when I ask others "How are you doing?" How are they really doing?
Till Next Time..
Done Phat Chic